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Douchious Maximus
Oct. 20th, 2009 12:45 amI SHALL SHARE WITH UPON YEAH YOU THE STORY OF MY SATURDAY NIGHT, BITCH.
SO. Saturday night (skipping about 80% of the day) around 10pm I went on an expedition to room 312; the room next door. :)
SO. Tyler the ginger-man's brother decided to buy us about two gallons of alcohol for no particular reason other than being FUCKING AWESOME.
SO. I invited my room mate, Drew, over. He happens to be the only cool one of the 4, so everyone in 312 didn't mind.
SO. I started drinking right away because I love rum, and I wanted most of it for myself. In total through out the night, I had about 10 shots of it, but not all at once. I was feeling pretty good after about 4.
SO. Jesse, my ex-girlfriend girl starts an argument with me about the length of relationship of my best friend (Jacob) and myself; stating that it's doomed to end so you (I) should stop making it seem like we're (Jacob and myself) going to get married.
SO. I think it's important that you know Jesse is fucking annoying, stupid, a melodramatic bitch, and she thinks the world revolves around herself (ideal girlfriend material, amirite?). Exactly the reason I dumped her.
SO. I was drunk, and in no way giving a rat's ass about repercussions of my actions, so I decided to unleash my TRADE-MARKED legendary asshole-ish-ness.
I proceeded by telling her that I apologise that no person in their right mind was willing to be as good of friends (as Jacob and I are) with her, but we're going to be friends forever and she's going to have to get the fuck over it. I also pointed out that Jacob and I have briefly discussed getting married despite each of our sexual preferences toward women. This is in reference to the movie "Chuck and Larry" in which two straight men marry for the Marital benefits, while still sleeping with women.
SO. After she was verbally owned, she shut her face and we all went on a walk to some place where you can supposedly see the entire city of San Francisco and all its lights. As soon as we got there we were disappointed to realise that you can't see city lights when the fog is too thick to see 20 feet in front of you.
SO. We walked all the way back to room 312, which was about 3km. On the way back my friend Andre found a random graduation gown on the ground and started wearing it... for some reason. Also, the creepy kid, Phillip, found a giant traffic cone and managed to hide it in his jacket and bring it into room 312 as "art".
SO. We got back to room 312 and I had more to drink. I seem to have an incredibly high tolerance to alcohol, so by this point I've drank more than double what anyone else has. I also paid Tyler the ginger-man $5 to fill up a water bottle of rum for me to take home and save for later.
SO. At about 5am I called it a night and went to my room next door. I went on my computer onto facebook and sent a message to a very attractive girl I briefly spoke to when I first moved here trying to get her to hang out. Unsuccessfully. I was either too drunk to convey my intended message, or she's not very fond of me. IT MUST BE THE FORMER, BECAUSE THE LATTER IS IMPOSSIBLE, AMIRITE?
SO. I hopped into bed and basically passed out for 8 hours. At 1pm I woke up, and I was still drunk. Which was really awesome.
THAT'S PRETTY MUCH IT.
SO. Saturday night (skipping about 80% of the day) around 10pm I went on an expedition to room 312; the room next door. :)
SO. Tyler the ginger-man's brother decided to buy us about two gallons of alcohol for no particular reason other than being FUCKING AWESOME.
SO. I invited my room mate, Drew, over. He happens to be the only cool one of the 4, so everyone in 312 didn't mind.
SO. I started drinking right away because I love rum, and I wanted most of it for myself. In total through out the night, I had about 10 shots of it, but not all at once. I was feeling pretty good after about 4.
SO. Jesse, my ex-girlfriend girl starts an argument with me about the length of relationship of my best friend (Jacob) and myself; stating that it's doomed to end so you (I) should stop making it seem like we're (Jacob and myself) going to get married.
SO. I think it's important that you know Jesse is fucking annoying, stupid, a melodramatic bitch, and she thinks the world revolves around herself (ideal girlfriend material, amirite?). Exactly the reason I dumped her.
SO. I was drunk, and in no way giving a rat's ass about repercussions of my actions, so I decided to unleash my TRADE-MARKED legendary asshole-ish-ness.
I proceeded by telling her that I apologise that no person in their right mind was willing to be as good of friends (as Jacob and I are) with her, but we're going to be friends forever and she's going to have to get the fuck over it. I also pointed out that Jacob and I have briefly discussed getting married despite each of our sexual preferences toward women. This is in reference to the movie "Chuck and Larry" in which two straight men marry for the Marital benefits, while still sleeping with women.
SO. After she was verbally owned, she shut her face and we all went on a walk to some place where you can supposedly see the entire city of San Francisco and all its lights. As soon as we got there we were disappointed to realise that you can't see city lights when the fog is too thick to see 20 feet in front of you.
SO. We walked all the way back to room 312, which was about 3km. On the way back my friend Andre found a random graduation gown on the ground and started wearing it... for some reason. Also, the creepy kid, Phillip, found a giant traffic cone and managed to hide it in his jacket and bring it into room 312 as "art".
SO. We got back to room 312 and I had more to drink. I seem to have an incredibly high tolerance to alcohol, so by this point I've drank more than double what anyone else has. I also paid Tyler the ginger-man $5 to fill up a water bottle of rum for me to take home and save for later.
SO. At about 5am I called it a night and went to my room next door. I went on my computer onto facebook and sent a message to a very attractive girl I briefly spoke to when I first moved here trying to get her to hang out. Unsuccessfully. I was either too drunk to convey my intended message, or she's not very fond of me. IT MUST BE THE FORMER, BECAUSE THE LATTER IS IMPOSSIBLE, AMIRITE?
SO. I hopped into bed and basically passed out for 8 hours. At 1pm I woke up, and I was still drunk. Which was really awesome.
THAT'S PRETTY MUCH IT.
